Blerina- I Will Always Choose
Plausible Over Possible
Every year, budget allowing, the
University I attended holds a conference on the ‘Holocaust & Genocide,’ in
which any number of presenters will hold seminars on various topics. It’s quite fantastic. Many professors will offer credit for
attending seminars; however, they are enthralling on their own. I remember getting out of class on Thursday, in
the middle of the event, but decided to go anyway, inspect the layout and get
an itinerary. Because the sessions were
already underway by the time I got there, I felt it best not to interrupt and
come back later, until I saw the seminar titled: Holocaust and Albania: A Story
of Courage and Survival. This session
peaked my interest because I had, over the past few years, met and became very
good friends with a man who hailed from Albania. I’m also a gigantic Simpsons fan and if you know the show well, then you know someone
on the creative team has a peculiar interest in Albania, but I digress. I really wanted to attend the session in
order to have a discussion with my friend, so I about-faced and decided to
quietly enter the session late. I
entered the room with almost no stir to the audience, sat in the back row, and
began to assess the situation. As a
history major, I was fascinated with the substance of the current speaker;
Albania’s involvement in WWII, which is largely unappreciated. As a single, heterosexual male, I was
fascinated with the mysterious woman just across the aisle.
Her shoulder length black hair, not held
back by any contraption, hid her profile slightly. But I felt like she didn’t fit the surroundings. She was younger, seated in between two older
adults. She was dressed professionally,
which left me wondering why she was there.
She was too young to present.
Students and observers wouldn’t dress up to attend a session. Maybe,
I thought, she was there to accompany a presenter. I tried hard not to get lost in thoughts
about just her because I was there, after all, to learn a thing or two. But when the current presenter finished and
the next was called up, all academics were lost in a state of optimistic, desperate
daydreaming as she approached the podium.
‘My God is she attractive’ I
thought as she began her presentation about her book, in some state of publishing,
of which I can only remember it was about the Albanian/Greek education
system. I missed most of what she said
because I was focused on finding a reason to talk to her, I had to. If you know this blog, then you know the most
fundamental point of it is that when I’m faced with the choice of now or never,
I choose now, regardless of the ramifications.
Somewhere along the way it hit me, just ask her about her book and tell
her why you’re interested in Albania (my friend), and the rest will work out,
which is what I did. The final presenter
of the session was absent, so after her, it wrapped up. I approached her in an academic, inquiring
manner, hiding how beautiful I thought she was.
We talked for a few minutes, I
impressed her with my interest in Albania, and she impressed me by being not
only gorgeous, but also educated and driven.
We were interrupted slightly by the older gentleman whom she sat next to
(her father as it turned out) handing me his business card; he owned a hotel in
Tirana. He didn’t speak much English,
so he didn’t interrupt for long. The
conversation turned from the purely practical to the personal and we both
enjoyed it. She had given me her
business card, which meant I knew where and how to get a hold of her. This relaxed the conversation on my end. Their travel plans were hotel, airport,
Albania. I was content because ‘never’
was not the only option. After a few days,
I composed an email that mentioned Facebook.
After a few more days I had a reply on both mediums, she had found my
Facebook account and sent me a request.
Needless to say, I was ecstatic about this.
For the next month or two, we met
online and chatted about lives lived and lives’ yet to live; authors,
musicians, and cultures among other things.
I tried to learn Albanian and she stumbled sometimes on my English. I would Google translate things into Albanian
like, “good night my dear, I go to bed thinking of you and will wake with the
same thoughts.” And she would warn me
about the defects of Google translate. Because
I am ever the optimist, and because I absolutely love to travel, I had, in my
mind, envisioned myself travelling to Albania to see. The reality of us being 4,700 miles away from
each other ruled her mindset. She also
felt, pertaining to the culture there, that a fleeting, whimsical, possibly
impossible relationship in terms of tangibility was futile for her and that she
ought to pursue more possible suitors. I
think here we encounter a differing ideology.
The American spirit says that anything is possible no matter who says
why, where, when, and how it is not.
Alexis de Tocqueville observed America in the early 1800s and noted how
our “equality of conditions” made us unique from the rest of the world. While we are physically and economically unequal,
the conditions allow the chance for equality for all and the equal treatment by
the State. This has led us to believe
that anything is possible for anyone at anytime, given enough effort because
the government won’t hold us back. Did I
consider moving to Albania? Mildly. Did
I consider asking her to move to America? Mildly. I’m not going to pretend that this wasn’t the
most elaborate long-distance relationship I endeavored to pursue and that it’s improbability
didn’t strike me. But to me, improbable
is not impossible. I always choose
plausible over possible. Being possible
eliminates options; it’s restraining. Being
plausible means it can happen, let’s just figure out how it can happen. One is limiting and one is expanding. Even though I have not heard from Blerina in
a number of years, this is why I still have her & her father’s business
cards. My Albanian friend is back living
in Albania and I have plans to visit him as soon as I hit the lottery. When I do go, I’ll make sure and drop in on
that hotel, just to see.
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